" I agree," I argued, "but it's December 28, we haven't thought of anything cool to do yet, and all the best New Year's parties have been sold out for weeks. So unless we think of something pronto, it's me you and Dick." Listen Charlie, don't take this the wrong way, but you are the LAST person on earth I want to share my New Year's kiss with." Dude, first of all, sarcasm isn't going to help us right now, and second of all, just because we've been friends for the entire twenty two years of our sorry existences doesn't mean I'm gonna get homo with you all of the sudden. You're way too ugly. Anyway, do you really think I want to sit around all night hanging out with your lame ass? I'm just saying that as usual, our procrastination is coming back to bite us right on the wazoo." Excuse me boys," said Kristin walking into the room and butting into our conversation as usual, "I couldn't help but overhear that my brother and his best friend are once again looking to dweeb out rather than. J.?" a voice asked and I told him it was."R.J., this is Jim Mason from the Arizona Cardinals," he said. "We're doing our best to move back into the first round and grab you, but if you're still available when we pick in the second we're going to take you."I knew the Cardinals had the third overall pick, so that would put them at 34, too."Did you take Sean Lombard in the first round?" I asked."You mean you're not even watching the draft?" he asked incredulously.I told him I had comps starting Monday, and I figured I should let him know a little more about me. I explained my rationale for my decisions.At least I'd given him something to think about.Five minutes later he called me back and told me they'd traded next year's No. 1, this year's No. 2 and a No. 5 to move up and select me in the first round."I might not have done that if you hadn't told me what you did," he said. "Most kids just drop out of school in the spring and jump through whatever hoops we want them to. I guess you.
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